Sometimes we are all like “FUCK YEAH, DUDES” and clapping hands to each other with smiles on our faces and shit like that.
The other time we were like “That’s super awesome”, drinking some shit in this shit’s bottle and talking about how life would be in a distant time or a distant place, or if we were in different places and what if we would’ve never met. And it was weird for me at the time why we would enter topics like those in our conversations but that’s not something to talk about now, anyways.
In my head, more often than i would like, i picture myself with a plastic bottle drinking some dew or other cola shit, all alone in what it seems to be a abandoned park with that rusty ferris weel in the back ground, or an old railway that passes by the middle of this town (which i have no idea which would be, if it even exists or that this even matters in the whole subject), or in a abandoned skate park with some graffiti in the walls and pipes and stairs, stickers glued to the rails and the rest of the scenario i think you can already make it yourself, with that Back to the Future Vest, a grey hoodie, denim pants that people think it’s not for men just because they are slim, my old black shoes, just like i would dress for a cold day and that face that when you look at it, it says nothing. Just staring blank in front of me.
I think that would make a good portrait of someone. Maybe.
Because most of the portraits i imagine, of people i love and strangers passing by in the middle of the croud when they would have no idea i would shoot them, or even self-portraits, will never happen.
And in the end that makes me wonder if ANYTHING will ever happen. Somethings already happened, hurray!, but that’s not the point.
Again: i think you know what i’m trying to say.
But any other times, we are like “Fuck this shit, fuck everybody, fuck everything, fuck you, fuck me and shall all these things be fucked really hard and KABOOM THE SHIT HAPPENS AND EXPLODED EVRYTHING YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT AND-”
Two seconds later you swipe all that thought from your mind and just keep going with the things you do, doing he things you do and everything like that just because, somehow, SOMEHOW (and shit, i hate this fucking ‘somehow’ shit) you just know you can make it happen. And even though that ‘perfect moment’ already proved itself it doesn’t exists, you know that the time will come. That feeling inside.
The feeling inside, you know? The one that don’t let you glue your ass to the couch? That feeling.
Most of the times.